Apparently, I am not alone in talking/writing about The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom. I want to put my own position out there. I think Amy Chua is the kind of mom that drives her kids into therapy. I think she puts her kids into a one-size-fits-all package. I think she has been terribly cruel to her children, though I have no doubt that she loves them. I think her kids may have the idea that her love is conditional on their accomplishing what she wants them to accomplish.
That said, I do think that many parents coddle their children too much in America. I think that many parents don't have high enough expectations for their children.
I have three kids of my own. As anyone with kids knows, every child is different from the other. My own opinion is that to get the best out of your children, you have to work with that child's individual attributes. That means spending time really getting to know and understand your child and what makes them tick.
I am a believer in unconditional love. I love my kids no matter what. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't be devastated if they committed a crime or became drug addicts or something like that. But I believe I would still love them and let them know that I love them. I think that I would let them know that they were harming themselves and others, and I would try to help them to correct, if they would let me.
I am very lucky in my marriage, my life, and my children, and I know that. I hope that I have raised my children to be great human beings, great friends, great parents, and great spouses. I am prouder of them than anyone can possibly imagine and hope that they continue on their (so far) very successful life paths.
I hope the same for Amy Chua
I agree with you! We nurtured our daughters' talents and passions, gave them unconditional love and support and had high expectations for them--but not anywhere near the pressure of Tiger Mom! She seems to step over the line between active parenting and excessive control.
Posted by: Margaret | Sunday, January 23, 2011 at 07:41 PM